PUBLISHED WORK:
McSweeney's Internet Tendency
Your Best Friend Kelly Has Been an Ad For Our Tortilla Chips This Whole Time
I'm the Female Voice in a Shoe Commercial and I've Accidentally Swallowed this Super Fab Stiletto
The Belladonna Comedy
It’s Up To Us, Tasty Twist Pretzels, To Bring Solace To America
We’re Proud to Announce Our New Company Policy That Pays Women in Maxi Pads Instead of Dollars
Who Said It: Someone on Great British Bake Off or Someone on Acid?
Points in Case
This Pyramid Building Operation Is Anything But A Pyramid Scheme
Unfortunately, You Have Not Been Accepted to the United States of America
So You Want to be The Devil’s Advocate
In This House, We Say “Merry Christmas”
Things I Would Rather Do At Thanksgiving Dinner Than Answer Questions About My Personal Life
Weekly Humorist
Flies the Democratic Candidates are Dropping Like
The Social Media Intern’s Deleted Tweet Drafts *A Best of 2019 editor’s pick!*
Are You Hollywood Pansies Ready To Buy The Actionest Action Movie Of All Time?
Is this Eulogy a Bad Time to Announce That I'm Running For Office?
BuzzFeed
The Millennial's Guide to Spending Literally No Money
Robot Butt
Snapchat Launches Filter That Makes You Just as Ugly on the Outside as You Are On The Inside
I Am Honored to Accept These Participation Trophies
headlines i thought were funny that various editors did not:
Life Hack! Don’t Feel Like Making Dinner Tonight? Fall Down This Stairwell Instead
Genius! Mom Suggests Peppermint Oil To Treat Your Medically Diagnosed Mental Illness
All Dogs Go to Heaven Except Happy from Seventh Heaven, Turns Out He Was A Massive D Bag
Here You Go! Read This Article Instead Of Making Eye Contact With That Greenpeace Guy
7 Houseplants That Purify The Air In Your Room But Only Through A Pretty Involved Purity Ritual
Inspiring! This Snake Was Born Without Legs
"Sex Workers Should Get A Real Job," Says Woman From The Very Bottom of a Pyramid Scheme
Please Don’t Tell Anyone: This Bird Is Flying South To See His Secret Family
4 Buddhas That Are Laughing At You, Not With You
Caught In A Lie? Sheryl Crow Said “The First Cut Is The Deepest” But In My Recent Origami Accident That Was Definitely Not The Case
Huh? This Baby’s Name Is Helen